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Thread: Song of the Orange Paddle

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    Default Song of the Orange Paddle

    ]I
    My present paddle is orange. It comes apart in the middle. I have found this to be a very valuable feature. At a pinch, it can fit in a hand bag, and I have found this exceptionally useful for shopping. Yet when needed, with a mere flick of the wrist it leaps to attention, becoming fully erect and fully functional in a matter of seconds. Once assembled, it has remained reliably rigid despite my admittedly quite demanding desire for endurance performance. Best of all, in between periods of need, it lies quietly under my bed, and does not wander, nor does it moan about the number of books I read, tell me to do something with my hair, nor leave the bathroom in a mess. I am inordinately fond of my orange paddle.
    I have experienced my orange paddle now in many conditions, so feel our union is well tested, proving itself loyal, devoted and unfailing in function, throughout our relationship.
    My paddle has a standard shaft, which even though I have small hands, I have found to be quite satisfying in grip. I have never suffered from wrist fatigue, despite over six hours of quite intense action in various conditions, in a variety of venues.
    Until Mr Potty explained how advantageous the knobs were, I did not know about "feathering" or optimum angle. I thought feathering was that frayed appearance at the ends of the fins. The knobs mean that even left handed friends can join in the fun.
    Now I know about feathering, I have been practicing with the knob settings, and as Mr Potty promised, I have found paddling much more satisfying now I have a large range of positions.
    I would highly recommend orange paddles.

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    I absolutely agree. I too have an orange paddle (of the single-blade variety), and I am inseperable from it - it goes everywhere I paddle:




    "full" size:





    Even though it has never touched water, I am quite certain that it would get me home if called upon.

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    Does it take batteries ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marcus2 View Post
    Does it take batteries ?

    Negatory... it draws its strength and legendary power from the wind, the waves, the sun and the moon.......

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    Beautiful paddle Sk8tr, amazing how elegantly it unfolds. I would also feel very safe with that under my seat.

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    am I on the right forum..... Do these orange lovelies have names or manufacturers?
    Cheers,

    Alan


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    Quote Originally Posted by Chainsaw View Post
    am I on the right forum..... Do these orange lovelies have names or manufacturers?
    No need ... go into any reputable paddle emporium and ask for an orange paddle, you'll be asked if you'd like it in a "Fiona" or a "sk8r" style and be measured for size.
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    Orange paddles are quite obviously the future. I am ashamed that I do not have one in my collection...

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    You're not a female Mal

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    I have a black paddle. Feathered and left handed (though I am not the latter). It's getting rusty round the joints as I am, but it does me well, in the absence of a more expensive Werner or Lendl or such like. Cost me 20 on ebay.

    James has a yellow one, and there is an unloved red one in the garage that no-one uses for some reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    I have a black paddle ....
    Likewise, a double bladed black Gorilla, Right Handed, carbon shafted and second hand ... with it I can roll a kk ... but just on the one side ... when I try my "wrong" side I fail ... abysmally.
    Just bought a second hand LH Gorilla, aluminium shafted and tried it out, weird to paddle with at first, then I got used to it. Tried rolling ... brill I can now roll pretty well on my wrong side ... but only if I use the LH paddle?

    Are black paddles a man thing?? ... do we need a "Song of the Black Paddle"?
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    Just don't mention black rabbits, ok?

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    I have a big one that works fine,like Fiona's it just takes a flick of the wrist to make it erect

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    Just don't mention black rabbits, ok?
    OK
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marcus2 View Post
    I have a big one that works fine,like Fiona's it just takes a flick of the wrist to make it erect
    Arf, he's here all week folks!
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    Quote Originally Posted by fredster View Post
    Arf, he's here all week folks!
    Matinees and sunday specials folks boom boom

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    I have a black paddle but have now been converted ..I would have matching paddle and air bags
    There can be worse obsessions

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    Bernard Manning come back, all is forgiven!

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    Hmm. Clashes with the carpet IMHO.

    But that carpet pattern has some interesting fractal properties. I can feel myself falling into it. Infinitely................................

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    Bernard Manning come back, all is forgiven!
    Oy I resemble that remark !!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Potty Paddler View Post
    Likewise, a double bladed black Gorilla, Right Handed, carbon shafted and second hand ... with it I can roll a kk ... but just on the one side ... when I try my "wrong" side I fail ... abysmally.
    Just bought a second hand LH Gorilla, aluminium shafted and tried it out, weird to paddle with at first, then I got used to it. Tried rolling ... brill I can now roll pretty well on my wrong side ... but only if I use the LH paddle?

    Are black paddles a man thing?? ... do we need a "Song of the Black Paddle"?

    Black paddles can't be a man thing! I am betrothed to a black paddle, although the orange paddle does not yet know this...perhaps that is why the orange paddle has taken to sleeping in Doglet's room?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post

    Hmm. Clashes with the carpet IMHO.

    But that carpet pattern has some interesting fractal properties. I can feel myself falling into it. Infinitely................................
    Mr Crow, I am so glad you appreciate my carpet. If you want any top tips when you redecorate your house, just let me know. If you appreciate that carpet, you will just adore my living room carpet. Its even better. I used the hall carpet as a back drop as the pattern in the living room is a bit loud, and clashes with the orange.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sal View Post
    I have a black paddle but have now been converted ..I would have matching paddle and air bags
    Sal, you are so right, matching accessories can just so set off a paddling outfit:-)

    Doglet and I have matching PFDs, I am sure we will be on the cover of Vogue ever so shortly....

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    Default Carry on Paddling

    Double-blade or double-entendre?

    A couple of years ago I had a post deleted and a bit of a telling-off from a moderator when I wrote that one difference between a canoeist and a kayaker is that, although kayakers have longer shafts, canoeists have all the best strokes!

    Does lightning ever strike twice?
    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

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    Ah, how far we have come since those benighted times. In those days, just to mention kayaks, double paddles or shafts (unless you were talking about black detectives) could get you banned for life with a fixed penalty and a custodial sentence.

    Now, in the more relaxed 21st Century, we are all so much more tolerant and inclusive, and these things no longer shock or upset most thinking people.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    .... and these things no longer shock or upset most thinking people.


    Yes, but what about the moderators?

    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockhopper View Post
    Double-blade or double-entendre?

    A couple of years ago I had a post deleted and a bit of a telling-off from a moderator when I wrote that one difference between a canoeist and a kayaker is that, although kayakers have longer shafts, canoeists have all the best strokes!

    Does lightning ever strike twice?
    That moderator must have had the most dreadful mind. How awful for you! Looking at the stars and tapped on the ankle by the toilet!
    Mr Potty and Mr Crow have been teaching me lots of new strokes, and I have been very appreciative. To be frank, before them I only had two strokes, forward and backwards. But then I did go to a convent girls' school. But now I can go sideways, sidle, twirl and dip. Its as if they have taught me to tango on the water. They have been masterful, and exposed me to a variety of shafts, of different stiffness and strength, so obviously they are of catholic tastes. It has certainly made me want to carry on paddling! :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockhopper View Post
    Yes, but what about the moderators?

    .... but ... "It's all done in the best possible taste!"
    Kenny Everett R.I.P
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    Default Can I join the Orange Paddle Owners Club?

    I have an orange paddle, completely forgot about it, it's a split that came with my pelican kk ... a bit heavy and I far prefer my Gorilla ... but ...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    Just don't mention black rabbits, ok?
    Are Mad River Rabbits OK? ... I wonder, are these canoe trained ... http://madriverrabbitry.webs.com/
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    [IMG]


    I find the image of the bunnies in tupperware deeply disturbing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDalzell View Post
    ... I find the image of the bunnies in tupperware deeply disturbing.
    They like it in there ... or so we are told ... I find the spherical nature of some of the larger bunnies deeply disturbing .... are bunnies really supposed to be that shape?

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    Model runway catwalk bunnies, I guess heroin chic is not so hip in the rabbit world. Yes, they look like fat bastards to me, and thats my professional opinion!

    Its so not normal to want to sleep in tupperware. Very creepy!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDalzell View Post
    Model runway catwalk bunnies, I guess heroin chic is not so hip in the rabbit world. Yes, they look like fat bastards to me, and thats my professional opinion!

    Its so not normal to want to sleep in tupperware. Very creepy!
    Bill Bryson once remarked that 'Living in the UK is like living in a Tupperware box with a grey, opaque lid constantly above you'.
    'Life is Art, and not otherwise' C.S.Lewis

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    Quote Originally Posted by nigelphoto View Post
    Bill Bryson once remarked that 'Living in the UK is like living in a Tupperware box with a grey, opaque lid constantly above you'.
    Bill Bryson: a legend in his own lunchbox!
    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDalzell View Post
    [IMG]


    I find the image of the bunnies in tupperware deeply disturbing.
    I find the above picture deeply disturbing. I think your paddle has been in the tanning salon too long! Unless it's a spray on tan. Either way it's all a little too David Dickinson.

    I do like the oriental top she's wearing though. Is that a cheong sam? I am more used to seeing paddles naked.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDalzell View Post
    Sal, you are so right, matching accessories can just so set off a paddling outfit:-)

    Doglet and I have matching PFDs, I am sure we will be on the cover of Vogue ever so shortly....

    Wizard (my bowmate) and I have already posted the Spring Fashion News:


    "I thought a shot of what the well-dressed canoeist is wearing this season was in order:





    Note the fitted lamb's wool tuque, the all-weather gore-tex ensemble, and the elegant down-filled moon-bootees, all carefully color-coordinated for a chic and contemporary look. "



    You can see the rest of our 'shoot' here:

    http://www.songofthepaddle.co.uk/for...d-so-it-begins

    Fashion is VERY important in canoeing.....

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    I have to say the dog's coat is the mutt's nuts, mine would love one in those colours.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockhopper View Post
    Bill Bryson: a legend in his own lunchbox!

    My son got his degree from Bill Bryson, in person. At lunchtime. So he must be good for something.




    (The degree wasn't too expensive either and looks quite realistic)

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    Quote Originally Posted by sk8r View Post
    Wizard (my bowmate) and I have already posted the Spring Fashion News:


    "I thought a shot of what the well-dressed canoeist is wearing this season was in order:





    Note the fitted lamb's wool tuque, the all-weather gore-tex ensemble, and the elegant down-filled moon-bootees, all carefully color-coordinated for a chic and contemporary look. "



    You can see the rest of our 'shoot' here:

    http://www.songofthepaddle.co.uk/for...d-so-it-begins

    Fashion is VERY important in canoeing.....

    Hi Sk8r,

    What a fetching outfit! You manage to pull off being fully functional with looking effortlessly athletic and cool. ( I mean hot!)
    You have accessorised well with Wizard as well, full marks! Image is all. :-)
    Last edited by FionaDalzell; 23rd-May-2012 at 03:35 PM.

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    Its not easy being orange, I don't think its my paddles fault, and he has become a little washed out round the edges. His orangness is an anti-house boat feature I think.

    Yes,it is a cheong sam! You know a lot about frocks, is there something you want to tell us Mr Crow?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDalzell View Post
    Its not easy being orange, I don't think its my paddles fault, and he has become a little washed out round the edges. His orangness is an anti-house boat feature I think.

    Yes,it is a cheong sam! You know a lot about frocks, is there something you want to tell us Mr Crow?
    I have a lot of arcane knowledge, but I'm not saying nowt!

    My beak is sealed...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    .... I'm not saying nowt! .... My beak is sealed...
    I'm easily confused ... if you're "not saying nowt!" ... then you are saying something ... but how do you do that if your beak is sealed.

    Are you more magical than we know, Mr Crow?
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    In most logics and some languages, double negatives cancel one another and produce an affirmative sense; in other languages, doubled negatives intensify the negation. Languages where multiple negatives intensify each other are said to have negative concord. Portuguese, French, Persian, and Spanish are examples of negative-concord languages, while Latin and German do not have negative concord. Standard English lacks negative concord, but it was normal in Old English and Middle English, and some modern dialects do have it (e.g. African American Vernacular English and Cockney), although its usage in English is often stigmatized.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    In most logics and some languages, double negatives cancel one another and produce an affirmative sense; in other languages, doubled negatives intensify the negation. Languages where multiple negatives intensify each other are said to have negative concord. Portuguese, French, Persian, and Spanish are examples of negative-concord languages, while Latin and German do not have negative concord. Standard English lacks negative concord, but it was normal in Old English and Middle English, and some modern dialects do have it (e.g. African American Vernacular English and Cockney), although its usage in English is often stigmatized.

    So you admit you were wrong, then!
    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

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    It ain't necessarily so.

    As an African American Cockney my usage is quite justified.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    It ain't necessarily so.

    As an African American Cockney my usage is quite justified.
    It ain't not necessarily so!


    Innit!
    Last edited by Rockhopper; 23rd-May-2012 at 05:47 PM.
    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

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    Ain't nobody corrects me better than like what do you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    Ain't nobody corrects me better than like what do you.
    Why, thank you, kind sir. That is true praise indeed, coming, as it does, from someone who must have been corrected so many times by so many people over such a long period of time!
    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDalzell View Post
    Yes,it is a cheong sam! You know a lot about frocks, is there something you want to tell us Mr Crow?

    Yes, Brother Crow....is there anything you'ld like to share??? hmmmm ???

    I recall that on another thread some time ago, Brother Crow was quite familiar with the sarong........hmmmmm....

    I think you know far too much about dresses, Brother Crow......more'n me, and I actually wear 'em.....well, ok, only weddings and funerals, but still.......

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    I wore a kilt once...

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    Quote Originally Posted by sk8r View Post
    Yes, Brother Crow....is there anything you'ld like to share??? hmmmm ???

    I recall that on another thread some time ago, Brother Crow was quite familiar with the sarong........hmmmmm....

    I think you know far too much about dresses, Brother Crow......more'n me, and I actually wear 'em.....well, ok, only weddings and funerals, but still.......
    I know how to get them off. Useful technical knowledge. And knowing the correct terminology is only polite when you're doing these things....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    I know how to get them off. Useful technical knowledge. And knowing the correct terminology is only polite when you're doing these things....
    Masterful use of the "Get out of Jail Free" card there Mr Crow
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    I have just been offered a job with the Pink Ladies. Which is slightly worrying...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow View Post
    I wore a kilt once...
    I wore a kilt twice - once was at my wedding. I'm sworn to secrecy
    'Life is Art, and not otherwise' C.S.Lewis

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    Go on, tell us what we are all dying to ask but are too polite to do so!

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    I don't have an orange paddle

    I think I need an orange paddle that fits in my pocket so I can get at items on the top shelf of the grocery store. They get upset when I climb up there.
    "Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing." WS-prophecy about internet postings.

  58. #58
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Pershore, Worcestershire
    Posts
    5,436

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    My doctor said that if my paddle ever turns orange I should go and see him straight away! At least, I think that's what he said!
    Juvanile delinkwit, vaguely faffing around with a pair of pliers. Du skal ikke tro at du er bedre end mig!

  59. #59

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    I wore a kilt once, out of decency I wont tell what was worn underneath. However, there was dandruff on me shoes lol
    I also hasten to add, that nothing is worn underneath, its all in perfect working order

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