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2011 A year from hell and its not even halfway through

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How has your 2011 been has it been good or has it been not so good lets face it the current climate of the world finance is always a worry for almost everyone with prices continueing to rise on almost everything

JANUARY i was working a job and not making a lot of money trying to make ends meet and doing stupid hours for bad wages but it was a job and i tried to make the best had a manger complaining shouting wanting things done quickly and not so good and telling me to lie to customers to get a bonus for good sales

FEBUARY I had enough I refused to b dishonest and did not like the work and was always worrying about money seemed no matter what i did it didnt get better but I found a new job better money and better work and finally thought thing where looking up

MARCH just getting settled in my job thinking weehay things going great new job better money then it happened i will remember it for the rest off my life march 16th come home from work and took dog a walk helps me relax and he loves it as i was walking i said loudly Please let me win the lottery so i never have to worry again almost begging beliving it would come true when i got in i orderd some food then in my side felt like cramp. I turned to my wife and said i think im having a heart attack and we both laughed 5 min later i was in excrusiating pain and me and my wife where definatly not laughing now. she called the hospital and they said leave now to be assesed and when i got to falkirk i was lucky if i was there ten min before being told get to stirling a surgon will be waiting for you i couldnt understand what was going on why was i in pain and what was going on. I got to stirling hospital i immeditly put on a bed asked to sign something and was told i needed surgry now as i was close to death to to a burst ulscer and was knocked out i woke up several hours later in pain but the morphine sorted it out. Whoever said what dose not kill you makes you stronger was a LIAR i have never been so weak in my life and i was in a high dependacy ward for one week before being allowed home for the long healing process and a month of work that really help my stress levels and financil levels.

APRIL I finally got back to work on the 22nd after signing myself off sick early not because i wanted to i had to it hurt like heck but i was on light duties and my body strength got slightly better each day but couldnt even carry a bag of rubbish. Then I got a phone call from usa a very good friend an old flame only 26 years old was in hospital in critical condition i tried to get over to see her but couldnt afford tickets and i was called last friday and was told she died I was absoloutly devestated. I do not know about yourself i do not show feelings i laugh but do not cry do not get upset but when i heard this news i broke down i couldnt stop crying and i never got to see her i couldnt speak to anyone without crying more so i made it my mission to make it for the funeral which i then found out was the saturday so i missed that aswell

MAY a glimer of hope arrived out of the blue mu uncle in america who knew how much she meant to me and knew how much she loved me offered to buy me the ticket just now so i can come over and stay with him for a week i fly out next friday the 13th and may will be bad for me aswell as now i am going over to say goodbye forever to my first love i have put all feelings off i am numb inside but i know when i get to her grave and is time to say goodbye i will break down but it is something i need to do is say good bye. Im only 85% healed but i am getting there slowly but with near death experiance nothing but worrying and then the loss of a good friend all within the space of 4 months i dread to think what this year holds for me

I would like to end this journal with a memorial to my friend who passed away from Cystic Fibrosis on April 27, 2011

Farewell Stacey Gutz your where a fantastic friend I never did stop loving you
you will be sadly missed and for ever in my heart and mind you where only
on this earth for a short time but you made the best of it


  1. wavecloud's Avatar
    Glad youre getting better!

    Myself and Stuttieboy are doing a charity paddle of the Thames for cystic fibrosis trust, in August.

    Maybe you could join us??

    Well done for standing up to that boss and taking no crap!
  2. Sundowner's Avatar
    Off to foreign shore then? Pleased you are getting back to normal